Riding on my wave of confidence from yesterday's efforts, today I installed a window mounted AC unit in our apartment. I did this all by myself, as well. I thought you all might be interested in a how-to guide so you can be sure to install your AC unit as professionally as I did.
HOW TO INSTALL YOUR A/C UNIT
- Wait until your city is in the midst of the worst heat wave in decades. Forward planning is for wimps.
- Go to your local hardware store, 2 Lowe's, 2 Home Depot's, 1 Target, and 1 K-Mart to compare prices, brands and BTU's
- Fail to compare any prices whatsoever because they are all completely sold out of A/C units.
- Wander into a nearby Sears to console yourself with jewelry. Discover that Sears sells A/C units.
- Throw yourself at the feet of the salesman, offer to have his babies.
- Purchase your 10,000 BTU A/C from bewildered salesman
- Go home and unpack your shiny new AC. Cut yourself twice with the box cutter unpacking it.
- Read the instructions
- Ignore the instructions.
- Heave A/C unit up and into the window you want to place it in. discover that it doesn't fit.
- Search for tape measure, fail to find it.
- Move A/C around until you find a window that it will fit in. Strain your back.
- Position A/C in window, search for power drill to drill safety brackets into place.
- Discover that power drill's battery is dead, remember that charger is in Houston.
- Apply duct tape (optional, but highly recommended) and slam window shut super tight so there is no way that sucker is ever coming out again.
- Carefully unwrap plug from protective covering.
- Fail to remove protective covering.
- Pull hard on the protective covering until it suddenly gives way, causing you to punch yourself in the face.
- Repeat step 18 twice.
- Look for hidden cameras, because clearly you are trapped in a reality TV program.
- Plug in your Awesome A/C Unit, and prepare to feel the cool!!!
- Realize you can't plug in your A/C because it has a three pin plug, and your house only has two prong plugs.
- Marvel at the fact that you moved halfway around the world from a developing country, specifically to avoid issues such as buying household appliances with plugs that don't fit your house.
- Swear. Kick something. Stub your toe. Swear again.
- Contemplate hacking off ground prong.
Hmmm... this warning looks serious
What a Uselessfancy plug I have here.
- Find three pronged outlet in the kitchen, estimate the length of extension cord needed to reach bedroom
- Find Tape measure in bedroom, on bed.
- Measure distance from kitchen outlet to bedroom using Measuring tape (70 feet +/-)
- Go to Busy Bee hardware on Gratiot and share your tale of woe with amused and appropriately sympathetic staff.
- Buy one of these for a buck
- Go home, Plug in your AC, and have a beer. Sarah, you are one hell of a handyman!
|So Simple! I'll just ignore these.|
|Feels Like Heaven!|
Tune in later in the week for my expert guide to applying heat resistant window film!