Tuesday, July 19, 2011

How to install a window mounted AC unit

We have been productive around here lately. Yesterday I repaired the malfunctioning horn on my VW bus all by myself. It kept randomly honking and pissing off people and drivers around me. not only was it embarrassing as hell to drive all over town honking like a frat-boy, It had the potential to be dangerous should I to piss off the wrong driver and get myself shot.

Riding on my wave of confidence from yesterday's efforts, today I installed a window mounted AC unit in our apartment. I did this all by myself, as well. I thought you all might be interested in a how-to guide so you can be sure to install your AC unit as professionally as I did. 

HOW TO INSTALL YOUR A/C UNIT



  1. Wait until your city is in the midst of the worst heat wave in decades. Forward planning is for wimps.
  2. Go to your local hardware store, 2 Lowe's, 2 Home Depot's, 1 Target, and 1 K-Mart to compare prices, brands and BTU's
  3. Fail to compare any prices whatsoever because they are all completely sold out of A/C units. 
  4. Wander into a nearby Sears to console yourself with jewelry. Discover that Sears sells A/C units. 
  5. Throw yourself at the feet of the salesman, offer to have his babies.
  6. Purchase your 10,000 BTU A/C from bewildered salesman
  7. Go home and unpack your shiny new AC. Cut yourself twice with the box cutter unpacking it. 
  8. Read the instructions
    9. So Simple! I'll just ignore these.
  9. Ignore the instructions. 
  10. Heave A/C unit up and into the window you want to place it in. discover that it doesn't fit. 
  11. Search for tape measure, fail to find it.
  12. Move A/C around until you find a window that it will fit in. Strain your back. 
  13. Position A/C in window, search for power drill to drill safety brackets into place.
  14. Discover that power drill's battery is dead, remember that charger is in Houston.
  15. Apply duct tape (optional, but highly recommended) and slam window shut super tight so there is no way that sucker is ever coming out again. 
  16. Carefully unwrap plug from protective covering. 
  17. Fail to remove protective covering.
  18. Pull hard on the protective covering until it suddenly gives way, causing you to punch yourself in the face. 
  19. Repeat step 18 twice.
  20. Look for hidden cameras, because clearly you are trapped in a reality TV program.
  21. Plug in your Awesome A/C Unit, and prepare to feel the cool!!!
  22. Realize you can't plug in your A/C because it has a three pin plug, and your house only has two prong plugs. 
  23. Marvel at the fact that you moved halfway around the world from a developing country, specifically to avoid issues such as buying household appliances with plugs that don't fit your house.  
    24. Three prongs?
  24. Swear. Kick something. Stub your toe. Swear again.
  25. Contemplate hacking off ground prong. 
  26. Hmmm... this warning looks serious 

    What a Useless fancy plug I have here. 
  27. Find three pronged outlet in the kitchen, estimate the length of extension cord needed to reach bedroom
  28. Find Tape measure in bedroom, on bed.
  29. Swear
  30. Measure distance from kitchen outlet to bedroom using Measuring tape (70 feet +/-)
  31. Go to Busy Bee hardware on Gratiot and share your tale of woe with amused and appropriately sympathetic staff.
  32. Buy one of these for a buck
  33. Rejoice!
  34. Go home, Plug in your AC, and have a beer. Sarah, you are one hell of a handyman!
Feels Like Heaven!
Tune in later in the week for my expert guide to applying heat resistant window film!
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6 comments:

  1. Unneeded advice -- that's what we do in my family == offer plenty of unsolicited advice. 1) U need a Leatherman. Multi purpose all in one mini tool that you can carry in yr pocket. Stone should get u one 4 yr anniversary.
    2) I live in a very hot place in what some would call the still-developing world. here we can rent portable a/c units on wheels so u can trolly around yr house as needed and then when the six month heat wave is over, return it to Mavis rent a ac.

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  2. I suggested to my husband we get a window unit a/c yesterday, and his excuse not to is because it's only hot in Denver 2-4 weeks of the year. Maybe he just didn't want to install one...I will rush these excellent instructions to him!
    :o) Mimi

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  3. Anon, My parents bought me a leatherman a couple of years ago, I never leave home without it!

    Mimi- So good to hear from you! I"m sure your husband is far more intelligent than I am! He married you, after all! :-)

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  4. haha good instructions Sarah! :)

    I'm more excited by the tasty-looking beer you have there :)

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  5. The curses of the two-pronged outlet. This is common in older homes/apartments. Fortunately, you have some grounded outlets in the kitchen. You might find it necessary to run some extension cords and surge protectors around the house. Some stuff you don't want to be un-grounded, like your computer or TV. Those adapters are handy, but they can cause a short in the event of a power surge.

    Love the instructions. Sounds exactly like almost every home improvement project I've ever undertaken.

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  6. LOL! Nice instructions, Sarah! I think my friend who is a pro in A/C unit installation would really be amaze and entertained with these instructions. In all fairness to you, your instructions are pretty helpful. I would surely follow these if we need to replace our A/C unit. ->Oma Gammel

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